Well, paint my bottom blue and call me Susan but I'm sure there are better ways to live than this.
I see Levis are shutting down their last U.S. plant which means all my jeans will be hand stitched by blind and deaf 6 year old thai girls from now on. Ah well maybe the prices will drop.

I was watching another of those cop shows last night. One of those where you have to be a fool to live near the star. Like Midsommer murders for instance. A tiny village in England and every week one of John Nettle's neighbours dies a grissly death. Then he spends weeks searching for the culprit amongst the ever decreasing number of remaining inhabitants.
Well it's obvious that he's killing them himself to keep the show going.

Princess Di wasn't pregnant when she was brutally murdered by the that French tunnel wall. Neither were Elvis or JFK.
Conspiracy theories are just shite paranoia. The human condition doesn't allow for the amount of people needed to keep secrets that the scale of these things would need. And anyway, who would want to murder a divorced Bulimic psycho, a fat ex pop star or a crippled president who was shagging Marilyn, allegedly.

Anyway, today's more startling news is that the badgers have dug under the wall to next door and spent a breathless night parading around in my neighbour's wife's lingerie. Wonder if I should contact FTV? Sort of Victoria's Secret from South Africa.

The Palestinians are calling for "one state". Well that's easily achieved, let's just finish off what they've started and melt the Yids into bars of soap, come on, it nearly worked for our Euro partners 50 years ago and would have done if it wasn't for such interfering bitches as Anne Frank hiding them behind wardrobes. And another thing, did they pay rent? And full board? I doubt it very much.

And while we're at it let's make all those sand niggers wear proper clothes, give your mam her tea towels and sheets back boys, get some nice t-shirts and a pair of Levis, while you still can.

Explosions. Now there's a thing.
This morning I watched two mini bus taxi things rattle at speed into each other. Mildly spectacular, but no Hollywood explosion, just crumpled metal and jiggers. Still, a good start to the day.
I have a new office, one wall is lime green. This makes me mad.
There are small sparks of light flaring behind my eyes, burn baby burn...
We sack people like it's going out of fashion, then you talk to the dregs that are left and they are the most miserable, negative bunch of arse wipes I've ever had the misfortune to know. It could get you down if you gave a flying fuck.

There are many problems in life, and I won't even mention the badgers, I'll just say this, "Fruit Loops..."

I'm growing more concerned by the day about the Israeli situation. It's been weeks since one of them exploded and I don't care what anyone says, thousands of Iranians squashed under falling rubble is no substitute for teenage sand niggers strapping bombs to themselves then taking a bus into town with their mates.

Today I am thinking mostly red thoughts.
I remember when I was at college a friend of mine would think a different colour each day. This was fine until he started wearing all that colour in clothing culminating in dying his hair yellow, not nice.
I think many of my collegues are full of shite, and this is not as small a thing as it sounds. This excrement oozes from their orifices at an alarming rate until quite quickly they can stink up the whole room with psuedo phrases and platitudes which mean as little as their facile smiles and odorous petty politics.
They are scum and should be nailed to roof and force fed buckets of reindeer bile and avocado dip.
There's a lot to be said for elephants.

Watching ftv this morning I was once again amazed by the comely attributes of Adriana Lima, she may be as Brazilian as a coffee bean in a thong but she sure shimmies down the catwalk with a certain something. Or two somethings.

The dollar has collapsed aginst the pound again which is good as it might stop those lardarse yankees wandering outside their own national boundaries for a while, which can only be a good thing.
I was somewhat taken aback to find the badgers helping themselves to my Rice Krispies this morning, especially as there was a box of Frosties sitting next to them, odd tastes your badger it would appear, still, at least they didn't steal all the milk.

I had an apple last night.

I'm thinking of starting again, but first I have to identify why I stopped, complex thing.
We have very little control over our urges and this is probably a good thing, although the compulsion to rub chocolate sauce over my neighbours budgie and deep fry the little fucker may have to be repressed.
I am becoming frightened by my bank. Everytime I go in they give another card or account, I liked it better when they thought I was scum and would laugh heartily at the mere mention of an overdraft.
When I woke this morning I could have sworn there were three badgers sitting on the end of my bed playing bridge, one of them smiled at me and asked me to join in as his partner but I had to decline as I could see he was holding a particularly shitty hand.

Not drinking has its benefits. Just wish I knew what the fuck they were.
Enemabag had a dream where he was at war with Sam Neil, they sheer sadness of fighting a B grade actor is too much for me to contemplate. I found a fish in my freezer this morning and have no recollection of putting it there. I put this down to either too much Mr Smirnoff over Xmas or the reasurgance of the famous "Hake Gang" who were famed in the early 70's for breaking into people's homes and leaving various types of seafood in freezers while humming early Abba tunes.

Traa la la... violence is golden.

New Year... about bloody time too.
Back in the land of the mentally challenged that we like to call work the gnomes of lunacy are again nibbling at my toes.
I see that the Iranians had a bit of a shake up over the New year... what do you expect if you're going to move somewhere called Bam.?
People are not agitated enough at the moment, I think a refreshing bout of paranoia is needed.
Very impressed with the Parmalat scandal, although can't see why anyone is surprised, what do you expect if you're going to let a bunch of Wops run your company?

The badgers broke in last night and danced on the ceiling...what a feelin'...