Think about this. In London thousands of people are marching against the power of Bush and Blair, those nice guys who brought us "Iraq 2 - The Fuck Up".
In Turkey people are driving cars full of explosives into British Consulates and killing innocent people by the dozen.
The link is obvious, but where's the fun?
Actually one of the banners in Trafalgar Sq did read "War Is Naughty". A very English sentiment. Maybe George and Tony should be sent to bed without supper?
Alternatively we could strip them and tie their sorry arses to a pole in Baghdad central.

Michael Jackson.
Will he never learn? Ok so he shagged a 12 year old lad, but at least he had cancer so the chances of him living to tell were slim.
Unless like Mikey you give him cash to get cured... odd. Still, maybe they'll put him in a youth correction centre, that should sort him..."oooohhh I'm bad.."

Whitby cod and chips. Now there's something worth missing...

Aardvarks, don't you just hate them? With their bendy noses and pokey little Bjorn Borg eyes. Pointless they are, I mean I've got ants all over my house and yet not one bloody aardvark has turned up to help. Maybe we should open a company that rents them out.

The Isrealies are quiet at the moment, probably building up for a really big christmas bang.

What happens if a tree crashes to the ground and there's no one there to hear it? Errrr... nothing? I suppose it just lies there feeling sorry for itself wishing it had chosen an easier form of zen experiment like simultaneous leaf shedding.

And cling film, why does it only ever cling to itself? Like a crap art director to a sad idea... now where's that wire car gone...

Bugger.

I find I tire easily these days. For instance I tire of whinging fucking girl bands with psuedo attitude waving their fingers in the camera lens when all they really want is a dick up their arse.
I tire of all these post Alanis bitches going on about blokes treating the sooooooo bad, well get over it, that's what life is about. Some people get fucked over.
I tire of people who think they're bright forcing their dumbass opinions on me and expecting me to say "gosh you are so clever".
And mostly, I tire of people telling I can't hate elephants. Well I've got news for you, I can hate whoever I fucking want, you whingey little vegatarian bastards. We should shoot the whole elephant population and make you self-righteous bastards skin them for a living. Fuck off.

I had a dream last night where in a post nuclear holocost landscape i stumbled upon what seemed to be dead children wrapped inside 2 foot long condoms... I don't know what was more frightening, all those dead kids or the thought of a two foot condom.
Penis envy? What's that about then? Why would someone envy something that spends most of its time stuffed in someone's hot trousers only to be whipped out to spray one of two types of liquid either into porcelain objects or small dark holes smelling of hot anchovy? (Or shit in Chris's case.... odd
Pesto. pointless.
I'm worried about the Ozone layer, as an empiricist I demand visual confirmation of its existence, but if it's disappearing anyway what's the point?
George Bush is staying at Buck House with the Queen... must be rivetting dinner chat. And then a quick gay shag with the Prince of Wales, allegedly.
When people brief you shouldn't it be brief? Why do i end up in endless meeting full of self important twats who love their own voices rambling on about fucking intrinsics, extrinsics and human cunting truths.
You know what I mean?