so, the Christmas party season began yesterday with our departmental lunch. 5 blokes, R1500 and the most fucking miserable affair I have ever been too. Roll on the company do on friday...yip fucking eee...
Over sensitive art directors, miserable writers and the sad humour of the IT guy... the table next to us was full of accountants and they were having a hoot.

Today is a turnip day.
I hate turnip but every so often I get the urge to pick one up in a shop and smile significantly at passing women.
And today may well be that day. Maybe I'll make it a Swede this time. preferably blonde.
The elephants came again last night, spooky with all that slow rolling walk and embarrassing trunk stuff going on.

I used to worry about what people thought but these days I just worry whether they do or not...
I was mentioning this to the dogs last night while I was outlining how splendid my day had been and what sad pleasure is to be had watching others get royally fucked from on high.
I've been thinking of badgers again, what is it that brings these bastards to mind so often? And aspic.
I see on the news that a bunch of Russians exploded, must have rubbed an Israeli up the wrong way.
There's a growing undercurrent around the office that seems to support the eating of avocado, this can only lead to evil urges like smearing feta on burgers...argh.

I have a secret urge to smack the shit out of smeagol, every day i repress it, my therapist is against repression but says I should find a more constructive release. What could be more fulfilling that a clenched fist in his flabby wind bag stomach and the solid crunch of a kneecap in his stupid beaky face? Now that's anger management.
Sadly i feel the pull of root vegetables, again.

and... where have all the smart people gone? This universal dumbing down is getting out of hand.
I work with several people I wouldn't trust to sit the right way on a toilet seat, and at least one of them is a gay bottom stabbing type with no right to breathe god's clean air.
I mean, would Elvis have got as far as he did if he was an arse bandit? I doubt it very much.
I'm growing to hate the uncertainty of my days, every morning I wake up to find myself indescribably bored shitless, and as the day progresses it grows like a nasty mushroom under the fridge.
Currently my mind is turning the the subject of grapes. How do they get the seeds out of them? I came across a olive stone remover at the weekend, it fairly shook me up i can tell you.
Did you ever think life would come to this, carelessly fondling chrome objects in strange department stores idly worrying about the succession to the British Throne.
Gerald.

What I'd like to know is this, who do they fucking well think they are? Wankers.
Sort it out.

A complicated weekend. Firstly of course England go and win the World Cup. For god's sake, we are supposed to be under dogs and hard working second placers... champions, bugger. Still the South African ref entered into the spirit of things handing out out penalty after penalty for no reason at all. But even this bumbling dick fuck couldn't stop the machine that is Jonnie twating that ball over the sticks.
Then, no sooner had I recovered then Georgia goes revolting... nice pics.
And some cunt calls me an "ad exec" in the Sunday Times... good grief.
If there is an after life, and I pray there isn't, I hope I come back as an Italian, I really want to sweat like a pig smelling of garlic and be covered in sad fur. oh yeah.
Mikey Jackson keeps up his amusement, 27 people held a vigil in L.A. to support him.... and of course he's innocent, Elizabeth Taylor, that huge tug boat of a woman, says he is.
I wonder at the audacity of some people.
There is a species of butterfly that shags the female then plants a stink bomb on her so no one else will fancy her...good work fella.
And now I've got Wank-Face as a neighbour filling the air with sad jokes...
And finally... what on earth is this about? People walk into Macdonalds then take their food and eat it in their cars in the car park... fucking odd.