Today is a turnip day.
I hate turnip but every so often I get the urge to pick one up in a shop and smile significantly at passing women.
And today may well be that day. Maybe I'll make it a Swede this time. preferably blonde.
The elephants came again last night, spooky with all that slow rolling walk and embarrassing trunk stuff going on.

I used to worry about what people thought but these days I just worry whether they do or not...
I was mentioning this to the dogs last night while I was outlining how splendid my day had been and what sad pleasure is to be had watching others get royally fucked from on high.
I've been thinking of badgers again, what is it that brings these bastards to mind so often? And aspic.
I see on the news that a bunch of Russians exploded, must have rubbed an Israeli up the wrong way.
There's a growing undercurrent around the office that seems to support the eating of avocado, this can only lead to evil urges like smearing feta on burgers...argh.

I have a secret urge to smack the shit out of smeagol, every day i repress it, my therapist is against repression but says I should find a more constructive release. What could be more fulfilling that a clenched fist in his flabby wind bag stomach and the solid crunch of a kneecap in his stupid beaky face? Now that's anger management.
Sadly i feel the pull of root vegetables, again.