Believeability. That's all you need in this game. Have a rant, drop a small but telling lie, smile inanely and give a little skip. And hey presto, a bunch of gullable fools falls for everything you tell them, pausing only to empty their wallets into your lap. At least, that's what advertising used to be like.
I dreamt of badgers again last night and awoke screaming the customary "Badgers, we don't need your stinking badgers..." But what does it mean?
Elephants are big again this year and the truly stylish will be wearing them loose around the shoulders but snug on the hips.
It's raining and as always thoughts return to those long wet nights on the banks of the River Esk quaffing bottles of "Dog" then howling at the moon.
There's a plot afoot to see who can be nicest to the Devil. I would win easily but I get so distracted halfway through my sentences and end up shouting "It's a cream cake you dozy cunt...a cream cake..." cest la vie.

Rubber, there's a thing.

In essence all men are fools. Although not as foolish women. Obviously.
I worry that we won't find the answer before death, and what if it turns out to be "Aubergine"?.
"Life is a minestrone" so the song once said. Well that's patently crap, an Italian soup? Let's face it if life was any sort of soup, other than primordial, it would be a hearty Scottish Broth.
Imagine this, you sidel up to some young lady in a bar, she catches your eye and doesn't vomit. You lean over and say "So, caught a bit of sun then eh?" Sorry it's just not going to work.
It has been pointed out that forgot to gloat about South Africa being kicked out of the Rugby world cup for being crap. I think gloating is out of place when something so superbly mirth making takes place.

Winona Ryder? where's she gone then? In hiding, or maybe someone shoplifted her. Mariah Carey, what on earth is she all about then? This midget with a monkey head? And who ever told her she had good legs, why oh why does she keep showing us them?
And Kevin Bacon.
Digital fucking cameras, everywhere you look, "snap" heay look at this picture of my bum... I worry for the world.
Did you know it was Bill Clinton who first started the search for Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq? There you go, democrat my arse.
Robert Mugabe, he's been on mind a lot lately, must have been that leaflet on Sexually transmited diseases I was reading in my Doctors.
Fat chicks, why on earth do we let them live? We could open Fat chick parks where we could hunt them with high powered rifles and crossbows... would make a good "Real TV" idea. We could call it "Oink".

Prince Charles fucks Chambermaid... good luck to him I say, anything is better than that Fuck-Pig Parker-Bowles, what's this two surname thing anyway? One for each arse in her case.

Enough. If the French like Zuma enough to let him off maybe they should let him live with them.