so this Jerry Springer guy, he's not very tall you know. In fact as he sat opposite me at lunch yesterday I had a definite urge to pat his quaffered bonce. Haha I laugh in the face of adversity and tweak the nose of bad fortune.
Like most Americans he seems adept at multi-tasking when it comes to food. Clutching a monster burger in his right hand and forcing handfuls of slimey chips in his left he was the ideal picture of a consumer society. Another dozen like him should scare the shite out of Saddam. While we were arguing over which of us was prick enough to ask for his autograph he tipped the waitress with a clutch of tickets to his sad TV show and shuffled his purple shell-suited body from the room.
I was going to go after him but Mr Apathy gave me a look that said "why bother", and you know, he was right for once.